An update on my Snip Snip Snip!

Donno, whether you guys remember  an anecdote on my adventures/experiments with Achu's hair just 2 days before his birthday,  well, that got published in the DC newsletter of Infy :)
Had edited it a teeny weeny bit  to remove 'too much of personal stuff'

Here is the  new version

A ‘Barber’ic Act

- Manju Malathy

So there I was, sitting in the lounge of Ruby Salon, waiting for the hairdresser to make his appearance. Achu, my son was on my lap fast asleep. Time, I felt was tired of moving at the same pace always and had decided to take a break and go for a stroll. And time was what I didn’t have on me. If the lil’ fellow decides that he’s had enough of his afternoon siesta, then all my plans stand cancelled. My heartbeat had returned to normal, just half an hour back, when the receptionist at Ruby Arena told me over phone that indeed they do consider and attend to cases where, Moms’ attempts to cut their kids’ hair backfires! ”

It was just 2 days to go before my Achu’s 2nd birthday and that was when I decided that my little one badly needs a haircut. I just couldn’t refrain from
getting into the act, though I very well knew , that all such experiments taken up previously by self also had not yielded good results.
But I just had to, you know and there I go. He has just gone to sleep and wouldn’t get up for the next couple of hours, so goes my calculations. I have all the time- in fact more time than I would ever need and all instruments handy- the scissors, electric shaver, the combs- you name it, I have it. Should try out the mushroom cut this time, the coiffeuse in me whispered, the hair is lengthy enough to permit the style. The little fellow normally sleeps on his tummy, giving me all the freedom to execute the style in all its glory.
Sniiiiiiip goes the scissors from near the right earlobe to the left- I make a straight cut - non-stop. Half my job is done, or so I think, I congratulate myself “well done Mama Bear, good job! Way to go!!.”
Oh well, did I say, half the job is done? Do wait for a moment.
There is this straight line, I agree but what do I do with the hair beneath the straight-line-cut? What do I do with that? Achu would surely wake up, if I use the noisy electric shaver. I will have to rely on the scissors and shorten the hair beneath the line. Maybe I’ll make it crew-cut like. Very clever!
But the scissors had a mind of its own, apparently, ‘coz in no time, there appears a skin colored patch -rite there.
Why is the skin showing up here? Now where did the hair go?
And more importantly how do I correct this? And hey, most importantly, how do I turn Achu into presentable form, on his birthday?
How can I do such a stupid thing?
That’s precisely what brought us to Ruby Arena at half past two on a hot Friday afternoon!

Now, you might be wondering why, I didn’t take him to the hair dressers directly, instead of committing such a crime? To be honest, empathy is the only
reason I have. Why subject the poor hairdresser to Achu’s hate crimes? I don’t know what is it about that class (Hairdressers) as a whole, that
brings out the worst in Achu. Not only does he cry non-stop, but somehow gets super human strength to practice all his kick boxing steps on them as well.

While in Bangalore, all the salons that we’ve visited once have flatly refused to take us for a second session. The funniest was when we went to the beauty parlour run in our apartment complex itself. The lady was so glad to see us both. Looked like we were the only ones visiting her in a long long time. Achu didn’t have a clue that it was for a hair cut session and even had a song on his lips!

There were three trained staff in the parlour and one of them very enthusiastically brought out all the equipments and I noticed the big ‘Q’ forming on Achu’s face. I warned all of them, on what’s in store for them, but they all refused to take me seriously. I sat on the chair with him on my lap, and used the technique I learned from my peadiatrician on how to immobilise a child safely. Though I knew that I wouldn’t be able to hold like that for long. And Achu on his part had started his practice sessions too. The moment he saw the instruments, his energy appeared from nowhere and soon the other 2 girls offered to help and caught hold of his arms and legs respectively. In the next 10-15 minutes that followed, I cannot recollect what all I did, Achu was trying with all his might, the girls were clinging onto wherever they could hold and the main beautician, perhaps not knowing what else to do, had decided to join the lot who were already clinging on. At one point I caught a glimpse of the action on the huge mirror on the wall. I was standing by this time, tightly holding him, so that the scissors won’t hurt him. Achu was clinging onto me and wailing away to glory. The two girls were clinging onto Achu from two sides and one of them was holding me also tightly, I have no clue as to why! The girl who was cutting his hair could be seen once in a while, appearing and disappearing in and out of this formation. And the beautician lady was holding me tightly, with all her mite. Yup, I checked a second time, just to make sure! Apparently ‘coz she couldn’t get to hold Achu, she was standing behind me and had her arms around my shoulders, wrapping me tightly. Achu was so weak by this time, his crying had become a mere whimper, but still he was kicking! When the act got over finally, the much relieved Achu gave a weak ‘Byeeee’ ‘Byeeee’ to all of them; they all were too tired to even respond. I promised myself that I should use my cam-corder next time I visit a parlour, so that I can use the video to blackmail Achu later.

Well coming back to the ‘Birthday debacle’–this time around, I just want to save his face and save myself from some ‘kind words’ from everyone else. I had no excuse whatsoever, for doing such a thing.
And the conversation going on inside the parlour, did not impart the much needed confidence in me either. I can make out from the accent that it’s a client from Maldives.
‘No, no, not like, that, don’t make it short, no, NOOO, don’t DONTTT’.
‘Is this okay?’- I hear a feeble second voice, that of the hairdresser (Let’s call him ‘H’), to which there was no reply for a long long time followed by a very disappointed ‘Anyway you’ve done exactly what I’d told you not to … ‘! Not very encouraging, huh!

Oh well the poor poor guy, I thought to myself, he has no inkling of what is in store for him, in the shape of Achu, his client in waiting!
Achu decides to wake up at this point, leading to the much dreaded ‘worst -case ‘ scenario. Poor Achu and poor poor H that is all I could think.

Soon we had the stage set- only the time and venue changes, the action and the reactions all remain the same — the scenes are much familiar to the lead artists i.e. Achu and self, those on supporting role though initially clueless, invariably jump into action with much vigour, remain stunned on seeing Achu’s actions and then recollect themselves and get into a ‘wrap it up somehow’ mode. And every single time, a couple of enthusiastic onlookers would join, thinking they can help -poor fellows! Once we even had a enthusiastic shopkeeper from the neighbouring vessel shop coming out to help his hairdresser friend.

To cut a long story short, 25 minutes later, we all came out, flabbergasted, exhausted, relieved and glad that it’s over!

Achu said his TM weak Byeeee Byeee this time also and the H was not at all amused. But it was indeed a win-win situation for all of us. Me, because the bald patch had finally disappeared - H had managed to make it a mushroom cut-crew cut mix, Achu ‘coz he had managed to gift the H a couple of dozen freekicks as return gift for favours received and H because we were out of the place finally!