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Monday, October 18, 2010

Desiderata

I realised how stressed I was when  I caught myself searching for Desiderata in my laptop. The poem was my  must read everyday to keep myself sane while working in a couple of BT projects almost 8 yrs back while working in TCS. That was the time during which I transitioned from a programmer to a module lead, how I despise myself for moving from tech to mgr zone then!!! It was indeed too early
It was for the first time then I started working in a really competitive environment, where your team whandles one module of the program and there are competitor  companies handling other modules. So a bug in the program was unacceptable and   mgrs were on top of you for figures and data and graphs and what nots!The most convenient thing to do was to give them what they wanted and push down the prgramming to the TMs and thats what I had done too!!! Thats the single biggest mistake in my career, I believe. It was too early for me to give up programming.And I must confess ,  I never got back to the technology side at all and I missing that big time!!!
 Hey,I  deviated from the actual topic ages back. Yeah, so during one of those BT pressure cooker days , when I came back to my desk after a  particularly heated squabble with onsite , Desiderata was waiting for me in my inbox as an unread mail and the very first line just swept me in- first thing I did was to have a printout taken and placed rite in  front of me, nr my PC and the comfort I drew everytime I read it was boundless.I moved on and multiple projects happened after that in TCS as well as in Infy, but though I've read Desiderata on and off, it was never on my cubicle after then

My current one is so stressful and I was neckdeep in it without realising that I was stressed to the core  and then I caught myself searching for Desiderata.....
Now I have it in my cubicle  and I keep reading itevery now and then, and the effect is just the same. Magical
I must confess, my TVM days  project was also really really stressful especially the first one year, but then I had a magical cushion there --of wonderful friends, formed at a period in life where I thought I had grown too old for new friends and that too not one but a bunch of them-- will keep that for another time :)

PS : If and where the mind is without fear are two other poems that have a profound effect on me…

1 comment:

UL said...

i left that world...didnt realize i was burning out so badly...now i am exploring again...i think i have found my calling but it will be awhilw before i get there..